Man does not live on Bread alone…

Last night my wife and I were able to get away for a much needed date. We went out to a chain restaurant. You know, one of those places that gives you “free” bread before your dinner. As our waiter was taking the order from another table and getting ready to go get their drinks, I over heard the couple say something like,

“Oh yeah, Can you bring us some of that bread?”

The waiter barely had time to write down the drink order and tell them his name before the first demand for the all important and obviously much entitled to bread was being placed.

As a former waiter, I told my wife how annoying that is as a waiter. So this simple blog post is to let everyone know YOUR BREAD IS COMING! YOU DON’T HAVE TO ASK FOR IT!

As a waiter you get into a certain rhythm with your tables. Introduction, Drink Orders, ask about apps, get drinks, bring bread, take main course order, refill drinks, check on table, bring out food, give 2 minutes for the table to enjoy, check to see if table is enjoying meal and everything was prepared properly, refill drinks, ask about dessert, bring check.

You do it several times a night, over and over again, with continued success. So don’t ask about the bread. I promise it is coming.

Next time you think to ask about the bread and demand it, first ask yourself how it would feel if you, as an adult, were told by your wife, “Honey, don’t forget to put on clothes before you go to work.” or “Hey babe, Did you remember to brush your teeth this morning?” The day you, as a responsible adult, have to be reminded to do the things you do compulsory each day, is the day you can start asking for the bread at a restaurant.

Remember, Man does not live by bread alone, free or otherwise.

Another restaurant etiquette note I learned from my airline stewardess Aunt: Drop the “just” when ordering water, as if it is easier for a waiter to get you water over a Coke. Saying, “I’ll have just water,” makes no sense. A waiter exerts the same amount of energy to get you water as he would to get you a Coke. It is “just” plain silly.


About Todd Van Dyke

Father, Husband, Son, and most of all lover of Christ.
This entry was posted in trying to be funny. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Man does not live on Bread alone…

  1. Ashley Baker says:

    Oops… I “just” get water a lot.

  2. Leland Dantzler says:

    I’d just like to say that, as I often forget to brush my teeth (and I’m married HOW?!), I now feel entitled to bread. =D

    I’m also a just-waterer. I feel so very convicted.

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