Top Eight Things My Wife Has Taught Me…

Okay, Let’s just get the obvious out of the way.  I married up.  My wife knows that, my family knows that, our friends know that, and I, of all people, know that.  Everyday I spend with my wife is another display of God’s unending grace. I can’t believe that we have already been married 8 years.  It is for that reason that I set out to write the Top Eight Things My Wife Has Taught Me these last 8 years.  In no particular order:

1. I am selfish.  There is nothing like getting married to an amazing women.  Marriage to Sarah has taught me just how selfish I am.  I don’t care who you are, but my guess is that even the most servant-hearted man enters marriage thinking they know how to serve and 8 years into it realizes that they have still so much to learn.  I am a selfish man pursuing servant-hood.

2. My wife has taught me that used towels and underwear don’t necassarily go anywhere on the floor.  There is actually a place called “the dirty clothes basket” that these items best fit into.  Who knew?

3. My wife has taught me that leading her heart as a husband is less like a blacksmith to a piece of iron and more like a potter to a piece of clay on its wheel.  When I first got married I think I had the tendency to think marital leadership was a title that was given rather then a position that was earned.  I have since learned that leadership is not a series of big decisions, (budget, church, careers, etc), but a daily decision to die to self.  In leading my wife’s heart I have seen that the best course of action is like a potter on a potter’s wheel.  I have had limited experience on a potter’s wheel.  There was one summer that I got to play around a little bit on one.  What I learned has been benifical to my marriage.  When working with clay on a potters’ wheel you have to make sure you don’t mess with the clay too much.  Too much messing with it and you over work the clay and it won’t keep any of its final shape.  Too much pressure and the clay collapses before you even get going.  The best way to shape clay into a pot (based on my limited experience) is light, steady pressure upwards with your hands.  Your hands have to be wet so there is not much friction and they have to apply gentle, consistent pressure.

Same, I think, goes with a wife’s heart.  Not too much pressure.  Wash her in the water of the Word to avoid friction.  Don’t play around with it and over work her with your arguments, opinions, and needs.  Apply gentle, loving, and consistent pressure upwards always building her up and lifting her towards the Lord.

4. My wife has taught me that the “two become one” thing is a life-long pursuit.  Remember God said “the two shall become one”.  He didn’t necessarily say how long that would take.

5. My wife has taught me to love animals.  My wife loves animals, dogs especially.  The only reason that we don’t have 100 dogs around our house is that I am standing my ground firm on a 2 dog limit.  It is nice to know that I scored major points the other day by stopping the van and moving a turtle out of the middle of the road.

6. My wife has taught me to lift the seat.  Enough said.

7.  My wife has taught me that there are those rare occasions when beauty on the outside can actually be surpassed by beauty on the inside.

8. My wife has taught me that she is awesome and that I am grateful to God for his display of grace upon my life in giving me Sarah.  I know that many of you could care little about reading one man’s love note to his wife, but I wrote this blog post for a couple of reasons.  1. My wife actually reads my blog so I know that she will see this. 2. I couldn’t find a Hallmark card that said all this stuff. 3. I want other people to see just how awesome my wife is.

There are so many other things I could put on here about my wife.  I love how she can throw a football with a perfect spiral.  That she LOVES college football.  That she is an amazing student of the Word of God.  That she has continued to grow in godliness since the day I met her.  That she laughs with her whole body.  That she does the best Bear Grylls impersonation.  That she started off our marriage not knowing how to cook and now she is awesome at it.  That she sacrifices all that she can for our children.  That she married me….


About Todd Van Dyke

Father, Husband, Son, and most of all lover of Christ.
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2 Responses to Top Eight Things My Wife Has Taught Me…

  1. John Knox says:

    Great stuff.

    I really resonate with #3. I thought of headship as a pyramid with me at the top as the pinnacle from whence all things flowed.

    10 years have taught me that there IS a pyramid – but it’s upside down and I’m the pointy end on the bottom supporting those above me so they, in turn can serve and support those above them.

    Enjoyed the post. Thanks for sharing it.

  2. Pingback: 2010 in review | Moose at a Full Gallop

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